Time fritters, anyone?

"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. [...] For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. [...]
So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 7:15-8:1)

Wow. If I were to write a theme song for my life, that would probably be the gist of it. Or, to borrow DC Talk's wording:

"What's going on inside me?
I despise my own behavior.
This only serves to confirm my suspicion
that I'm still a man in need of a Savior."

I must confess, my personal battle between the "inner man" and "flesh" is very much a "cold war" at a standing aggression. My inner man has not yet declared full-out war on my flesh, but rather has been very diplomatic. It is as if the inner "City of God" has not been convinced that the "City of Man" is deserving its destruction, and the City of Man is running its errands just enough to prick the City of God's Conscience- to warn the town watch that they are still there, if you will, but not enough to spark conflict. The City of Man knows it has no defense once the City of God is awakened to war, and I suspect that fact also does not help motivate the God-ward. As Screwtape repeatedly notes to Wormwood, the lies have no defense except other lies, and the most basic lies are only covered by the convenience of their implications. He instructs Wormwood to distract the Christian from analyzing the lies at all costs, because they fall apart quickly under examination.
What are some of these distractions? If I'm to be honest about it in regards to my life, they are things I know have a tendency to seize my time and waste it. My computer has this propensity:

• Twitter (Eh, not so much, I use it fairly moderately... update it every couple days.)
• Email (I should ignore it for a day and see how many emails I get- I suspect about 50.)
• Facebook (What does one actually do there? Nice as a tool, Applications are rather silly.)
  
• IM (Where you must message back instantly. Little wonder my parents aren't fond of it.)

All told, I've had a rough estimate that I spend about 4-6 hours a day on the computer... frittering time. All that while I have worthy things to do- work on our church website, blog, write, compose music, tend to the health and appearance of my dog (who is at present a grunge collie), the state of our house, theater, actually get homework done... noble intents, a poor success rate. (My room could use cleaning too...)

I am pretty sure I'm not the only one who's like this... from "business" to "ADHD", it definitely seems like it's just it's an excuse for being distracted. (Granted, there are people busy with good things, and some people probably have naturally shorter attention spans- but it just makes it easier for them to be distracted by what dosen't matter.) Americans tend to be wrapped up in things that are distractions- it's not bad to like new stuff, but when we get new stuff and then waste time by playing with toys the old stuff didn't have... we start wasting our lives chasing and playing with fluff. Lovely, technological fluff... and the tiniest thing that disrupts our fluffy joy is a huge disaster... (How do you react when your internet goes down?) momentary glee may be found in technology, TV, movies, listening to music, but it's not going to bring lasting happiness. There comes a time when we just need to put down the netbook and iPhone (And yes, the velociraptor.) and engage real people in real conversations... beyond small talk.

Easter, etc.

Hey everyone, have a blessed Easter! It struck me as odd how much greener all the organic stuff is looking... (I know there are people who would razz me about saying "everything"... so... everything that is supposed to be green- grass, trees, etc.) and the skies are looking impressively blue, with the puffy white clouds seeming to add balance to the sky.

And my dog is still really pretty.
I never did get around to blogging about my birthday, so I'll just throw on a quick note: It was good. Busy, yeah, but good.

Now it's time for me to finish getting ready for our "normal" Easter service... so I'll bid you all adieu!